Wednesday, June 8, 2011

When Yes becomes Yikes!

We've all been there, haven't we? Said "yes" one too many times and found ourselves overwhelmed and frustrated because nothing is turning out as we expected... I know I have. In fact, it is something I struggle with daily because working from home seems such an innocuous situation. I talk myself into thinking that I have so much time that I can do all kinds of things, often many more than I can actually accomplish in a 24 hour day, forgetting that all of us must schedule in sleeping... oh, and eating... and potty breaks... Ugh. See how it happens?

Time is a precious commodity. One that none of us will ever have enough of, it seems. In American society, you are considered a slacker if you aren't somehow busy 24-7. If you take time out during the day to nap, you are looked at as if there is a physical ailment you must have acquired. If you have only one job during the day, you must also have hobbies that keep you running from place to place with much ado during the evenings and weekends. Time wasters are bad, bad things and we must continually keep an eye out for their ugly little heads to rear up when we least expect them to, when some of the best time wasters relieve so much of the stress we have saddled ourselves with.

Time is only one part of the "Yikes" factor, however... I have also found myself stuck in the position of doing things that are definitely not mine to do. I am often easily manipulated by guilt, the needs of others or again, that pesky inference that because I work from home, I can do all manner of "extras". There are things that I get added to my plate because God asks me to step out of my comfort zone and stretch, but that isn't what I am talking about here. I am talking about doing things that are definitely NOT a God given employ.

For example, I once decided that since the pastor of our church had often announced a need in the church nursery and since I had given birth (twice), I would fill that void. I reported to the nursery, I watched the children, I played and I read stories. I held adorable babies and rocked in the rocking chair - and I was absolutely miserable! I had no heart for ministering in this way. I wasn't negligent, I wasn't unqualified, I simply wasn't gifted for that type of ministry. I had to admit to myself after a few weeks that I was simply filling a void with my body that my soul had no joy in. It was hard to leave that post because I was afraid I was letting so many down, but ultimately God spoke to my heart that I was in the wrong spot. I had tried to say "Yes" where God did not give me permission to do so.

So what do I do when I feel that pull to do more in the day than I have time for? What do I do when I see a need I think I can fill with my body because I have skills to complete the task? How do I protect myself, my family and my heart from the "Yikes" factor before I am knee deep in a situation?

First, I pray. This is of course, easier said than done and it is a habit that isn't fully formed in me as yet. I have to remind myself that when I feel a time crunch coming on I need to stop, drop and pray! I immediately ask God to stretch my time, so that I might get done those things that I have committed to do. I ask that His will be done when my will seems to be so muddled and confused. Then I make a list. I list out the details of the task and pray for God to reveal things that I might delegate to others, if any, and places where I might consolidate two tasks to one. After I have completed the list, I get to work! Prayer is necessary, lists are helpful, but putting rubber to the road is paramount to finishing what I started. (That is, if God doesn't answer the prayer by providing someone else to take the reins.) Once I have completed the task, or failed miserably at it - depending on how big the "yikes" is, I sit myself down and I pray once more. "Lord, how do I not do this to myself again? Was this a task I planned poorly or was this something I did in my own flesh, by my own will and not something You would have chosen for me?"

Depending on His answer I have some choices to make. I can choose to listen to God's answer and be obedient, or I can continue on in my own way, figuring that I will eventually find myself right back in the position of "Yikes" once more. The next thing I get to choose is my response to the situation. There will always be others who try to foist their own "yikes" upon you. A friend of mine uses her list here. She simply checks it in light of the current request, and if it isn't on the list, she politely declines to add it. This keeps her "yes" a "yes" and keeps "yikes" politely on someone else's plate.

Let's face it, saying "no" is hard and not something most folks are comfortable with. It is so much easier (and somehow more acceptable) to say yes and suffer rather than face someone and say no. I try to keep in mind that God has special things that only I can complete for Him. He has special things that he wants to give others. If I am continually doing those things that I am not called to do, I am in effect stealing someone else's thunder at a task that they are better suited for than I could ever be! I miss the opportunity to see God glorified in the most wonderful ways when I allow myself to wallow in the "Yikes."

Enjoy your "yes's" so much more once you learn to say no to the "Yikes" factor.

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