I am in awe that God is so patient with me. More than once I have had aha! moments that I am sure He is rolling his eyes over my utter lack of understanding. This morning was one of those moments.
I read devotionals after I have taken the kids to the bus stop and the house is quieted down from the morning fervor. It is my way of centering my head and getting my day started on (hopefully) the right path. Right now, the two I am most consistent with are "Jesus Calling" and "Jesus Lives" by Sarah Young. (I like her stuff, obviously.) Today, she knocked me back on my heels with an observation that still has tendrils of smoke emanating from my ears.
I think all of us who have experienced Christian-ese are familiar with the term and concept that God gives us "strength for the day." I had heard that many times, right along with, "God won't give you more than you can handle," and "God will equip you for what He asks of you." All very true and you can get into a mantra mind-set with these concepts. Telling yourself over and over, "God is right here with me in this..." but sometimes I realize for me, they are just words. Like a saying given to me as child to calm my fears and panic, I recount these facts in my mind, but never really assimilate what they truly mean.
This morning, I stepped into understanding with Sarah Young's help. Not only does God care about where I am in my life and what is going on, He cares enough to send me just the right amount of holy aid for each individual situation. When I need ALOT he sends ALOT. When I need just a smidge, he sends just a smidge. I know it sounds very pedestrian of me not to have gotten this before now, but I hadn't. God tailors the amount of Holy Help He sends my way depending on the looming need of the task itself... When things are sooo very bad and I am sure I cannot handle it at all, much less alone, God amps up the aid accordingly! I am given differing amounts of God's empowerment correlating directly to how much help I need and how willing I am to depend on Him.
yeah... That last sentence got me too. I am empowered depending on how much I am willing to look to Him for the help. Hmphf! Could it be that those places I want to question God about how much He is helping out are actually pointing to the fact that I am not depending on His abilities, but my own? Very revealing, don't you think? I sure do! I am sure that Peter found it revealing as well when he started to sink in the water after he realized the magnitude of stepping out of that boat to greet his Savior... Peter, suddenly bold, said, "Master, if it's really you, call me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come ahead." But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!" Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, "Faint-heart, what got into you?" (Matthew 14:28-31 MSG)
The next time hard days darken my door, I hope that I can remember the words of Sara Young and realize that God is completely in control of my life. He will empower me with the perfect amount of His abilities to tackle whatever I am facing, as long as I am looking to Him - not my own abilities to overcome. Just don't look down....